


We Sleep Alone

by yoshimis_island



Series: You’re not Stubborn [1]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe- SwapFell, Alternate Universe- Underfell, Alternate Universe- Underswap, Blood, Magic, Menstruation, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Reverse Harem, Soulmates, Swearing, anime tropes that i’m not proud of, every other sentence starts with ugh but you know what that’s the mood, excessive amounts of mario cart, fuckin weed man, graphic descriptions of periods, in this house we main yoshi, maybe sexy times later but not now, not one bit, now the reader is just suffering, oh and periods, reader does not have magic, reader doesn’t hate the skeletons they’re just easily freaked out, reader has a vagina but gender is fake and frankly i don’t care for it, reader is not thrilled about any of this skeleton business, the fuck word, whoops who put that angst there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-09-18 08:03:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16991157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoshimis_island/pseuds/yoshimis_island
Summary: Everything sucked. Your job is a drag, you’re tried as hell, everything hurts and there’s a skeleton at your door.





	1. Going Through a Rough Period

**Author's Note:**

> what’s good dude, i hope you like the story. just in case you didn’t read the tags, this chapter has a lot about periods and if that is to much for you, you might want to find something different. hope you like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what’s good dude, i hope you like the story. just in case you didn’t read the tags, this chapter has a lot about periods and if that is too much for you, you might want to find something different. hope you like it.

So like, everything sucks right now. Your head hurts, you’re bloated, this fucking pad is chafing your pussy, and these cramps make you want to lie down and die. Ow. Can god just kill you now? This is the worst. You hate periods.

  
The knock on your door startled you out of your self pity. What now?

  
“sweathart open up! yer not pulling this hermit shit again!” God, not this asshole.

  
“Fuck off Red, I’m not in the goddamn mood.” Maybe if you played dead he would leave. Maybe the universe is on your side today. Maybe you were full of shit.

  
The pop from over by the front door let you know that you should’ve really got going on that restraining order a while ago. “heya babydoll, what the fuck is up?”

  
You couldn’t have just one day away from these obnoxious skeletons, not one day. That’s fine, it’s not like you wanted basic privacy anyway. Love it. “Get out of my apartment, asshole.”

  
He walked up and loomed over the back of the couch, taking in your rats nest of pillows and blankets. Couldn’t he just leave you alone? “are ya dyin or somethin’?” He reached out and poked your face. You pull your blanket over your face and groaned.

  
“dollface,” Red sing-songed, “yah know I’m not gonna leave until yah tell me.” Uh, of all the days for him to finally be in a good mood it had to be when you were dying. Maybe he was a sadist. That would actually make a lot of sense.

  
“Get off my dick Red, I don’t have to tell you shit.” Ow, ow, ow, ow, god shit fuck ow cramps. Fuck cramps.

  
“alright, you asked for this.” You most certainly did not, but the next thing you knew you were jerked off the couch and into the air before being dropped back down onto a boney ass lap. Great. Awesome.

  
“sweethart you smell different today, ‘s everything alright?” Uhg, the creepy smell thing. They were always talking about how you smelled, no matter how often you tried to explain that was rude to humans. 

  
Did you really want to tell this breaking-and-entering bitch about your personal cycle? No. “I’m filing for harassment. Please leave or I’ll call my lawyer.”

  
He yanked the blanket down off your face and chuckled at your Murder Glare. Prick. You never asked for this.

He leaned down and started nuzzling you like the absolute animal he was. On another day you might have headbutted him but the headache that had been brewing behind your eyes all day threatened to stab you in retaliation. Shame. “Go away, I don’t need this today.” Oh god, he smells like mustard. You were gonna puke. 

  
“nope, this is mandatory. ya look like death, and there ain’t no way I’m leavin’ my soulmate lookin like this.”

Uhhhhhhg, he had to bring that up. The reason you had a horde of corpses knocking down your door all day and night for the last seven months. Ridiculous.

“Uuhhhg, I hate this.” You squirmed but he wasn’t letting go. You knew he wasn’t going to give up that easily, they had to make everything as complicated as possible.

Well, if he was going to insist on ‘taking care’ of you, you might as well get something out of it. “Make yourself useful and bring me some food.” Don’t judge, you were just making the best of this.

  
He laughed again. Asshole. You poked him in the sternum. “alright, alright, whaddaya want?”

  
“Hhhm, borger.” This time of the month was not for good decisions.

  
“alright doll, i’m going to grilbz real quick, but when I get back we’re gonna talk.” You stuck your tongue out at him. He wasn’t the boss of you. Bitchass. 

  
Then he was gone. Finally. Now you could get back to the important matter of finding the most comfortable way to wedge you and five quilts onto the same couch. Serious stuff. And that skeleton just ruined all your research. This wouldn’t be easy to fix, but someone had to do it.

 

 

When you woke up it was dark out and someone was rustling around in your kitchen. Uhg, what was Red up to now? You rolled over so you were facing the back of the couch, and felt the wet spot on your pants. Aw shit, you bled through. The last thing you wanted to deal with right now was laundry, particularly blood soaked laundry, in front of an uninvited guest. Maybe he wouldn’t notice?

  
“heya kiddo, heard you were feeling a little under the weather and though i’d pop by.” A voice right next to your head made you flinch. Careening your neck around revealed Sans, your old pal from before this had all gone to shit. He was one of your best friends, a real great guy to have around when things went sideways. And one of the most annoying people you’d ever met in terms of sheer overprotective older brother force of will.

Oh you were so screwed.

  
“fuck, will ya leave her alone comic? i told’ja i got this covered.” So Red was finally back from his burger mission, great. Double the short, obnoxious, intrusive skeleton for the price of one.

  
You turned back around and curled into the couch. Fuck it, this didn’t have to be your problem. When you felt a hand on your shoulder you shot Sans a warning glare, he just gave you a bland smile. You didn’t apreciate his dismissal of your bullshit, but the slow circles Sans was making on your back didn’t feel half bad. Cheater. Just because you tolerate it doesn’t mean like it.

  
When two arms slid under your knees and shoulders you were almost back asleep, but awake enough to feel the person holding you freeze.

Your eyes shot open and the fog of sleep started to clear from your head. What was up?

  
“uh, kiddo,” That didn’t sound reassuring at all, thanks. “k-kid, we’re gonna get you to a doctor.”

  
There was a small pop and Red was next to you in a second. You looked at Sans, trying to figure out what the hell had prompted this, but he was pale. Paler than usual. Believe it or not skeletons could look pale. Red’s face had dropped in much the same manner and now there were two people standing over you looking like they were trying very hard not to freak out. That really freaked you out.

  
“shit, comic, take the kid to Tori’s right-fucking-now.” Red was shaking. What the fuck?!

  
“What the hell are you talking about Red?” He wouldn’t meet your eyes, just staring at the couch. Sans seemed ready to follow Red’s advice, for once with no smack talk.

  
“s-sweetheart you’re bleedin’ pretty bad.” Red’s voice shook, “now we can’t heal worth shit, but you remember our friend Tori? she can help.”

“Woah, what? I’m not bleeding-“ Ohhhh shit, oh no. “What, this?” you gesture to your crotch with what little room you have being held in the arms of a skeleton like some Día de los Muertos Lois Lane. “Dude, I’m just on my period, I’m not dying.”

  
Twin blank stares made by structurally almost identical faces can be really creepy. Blocked. “Do you guys seriously not know what a period is?”

  
“is this just something that happens to you?!” Aw, Sans sounded almost offended at the thought of you dealing with a little blood. Oh you sweet summer child. Did they really not know?

  
“Do monsters not have periods? What the fuck, that’s so unfair! You get all the cool stuff like magic and don’t even have to deal with periods.” You sighed the heavy put-upon sigh of a person, once again, attempting to explain human biology to a bunch of complete aliens.

  
“what in Asgore’s name is a period?” Red asked.

Sans set you down gently onto the couch but kept his hand on you in case you couldn’t sit up on your own. A sweet gesture in the most annoying way possible.

  
You took a breath and steeled yourself. Alright, biology 101, just another service you provided. Okay. “Look, I don’t know all the specifics, but bacically once a month my body decides that the inside of my baby making junk needs changing so it wrings me out like a kitchen towel and I bleed for a week or so. It hurts but it isn’t lethal, or something Toriel can fix.”

They were looking at you like you just told them every night you rub one out using a cactus.

  
Red finally brought his eyes to yours. “you’re serious doll? ya just bleed out part of yer body once a month?” He looked both disgusted and impressed, a strange combo, like someone not expecting to find a colony of mold in there room but appreciating how far it’s come.

  
“I can’t believe you guys don’t have to deal with this, life is so unfair. Yeah man, once a month every month, until I turn fifty or something.”

You try to stand up because at this point you’re just getting more blood on this stuff but Sans grabs your arm and in a strained voice says, “what the fuck happens when you turn fifty?!”


	2. A Joint Effort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> god no not more skeletons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s so hard to pace myself and not post everything at once when you’re all being so sweet in the comments. not that i’m complaining. fyi this chapter contains weed, don’t read this if you’re a cop

The only thing funnier than two grown ass men losing their shit over a little bit of blood is said men trying to deal with said blood. After all the shit they put you through, you felt like you deserved this little bit of schadenfreude. Maybe you were the real sadist.

  
They absolutely herded you to the bathroom (after you chewed Snas out for trying to carry you because fuck that you weren’t some rag doll) and left you to wash off. Red had tried to insist that you take a bath, stating that blood loss could make humans unsteady but after you pointed out that you wouldn’t get any cleaner by basting in your own blood he let it go. Looked a little faint about it too, what a baby. He’s the one that killed people where he’s from but all of a sudden a little bloods got him clutching his pearls? Grow up.

  
Shower time. Hot water is your only true friend, and as always it’s coming in for the clutch. Ooh, yeah, that’s the stuff. You take a few extra minutes just chilling and wasting hot water, but fuck it. All that’s waiting for you out there is more trouble.

  
After drying off and applying a fresh blood sponge, you pull the towel around you and head for your bedroom. You don’t feel like real clothes, pjs it is. God knows you don’t have to try for the skeletons.

  
When you walk back to the kitchen there are two frustrated skeletons holding a blanket over the sink. red’s got his phone out and seems to be looking something up while Sans only really seems concerned with not looking at the blood. It’s kinda cute how freaked out he is.

  
“quit fuckin around, comic. i ain’t getting flagged as a murderer on google for nothin here.” Red did not seem to be finding what he was looking for.

  
“Hey assholes, try not to ruin that, yeah?” You walk up holding some good old hydrogen peroxide. Time to get shit done.

  
“hey kid, how’re you feeling?” Sans seems relieved to have something to focus on. Or maybe he’s just being super clingy today. Who knows?

  
“Peachy, now give me that before the stain sets.” You pull the blanket from them and hold the bloody part over the sink before popping the cap and pouring hydrogen peroxide over it. When it began to bubble and froth you felt eyes over both of your shoulders. You let it set for a minute, pouring more over the stubborn parts, then turned the water on cold and started scrubbing.

  
Red reaches over you and picks up the bottle. “what the fuck is this, human desolvent?” He turned it over like he was actually going to read the label.

  
“Hardly, it just breaks down blood. Notice how my hands don’t melt when I touch it?” They both flinched like a couple of wimps.

  
When you got that as clean as it was gonna get you walked to the bathroom and hung it up. Then you washed your hands because god did that stuff smell.

  
When you walked back into the kitchen you were greeted by the most beautiful sight of all. “Grilby’s! You remembered!” Oh you were gonna eat the Shit out of that burger. Hm. Don’t say it like that.

  
Red, who was very glad that the part that involved fabric soaked in your blood was over with, sat down at your puny kitchen table. “yeah, sorry about the hold up earlier, this one,” he gestured to Sans, “had to have my help tryin to keep one ‘a his machines from blowin ta bits.” He pulled out a burger and passed it to you.

  
Oh sweet jesus. Your favorite thing about magic food on the long list of favorite things about magic food, was that no matter how long it set out, it was still hot. Or cold, depending. As you bit into it the burger tasted like it had been flipped off the grill two minutes ago. Still hot, great flavor, Grilby’s. Arguably the only good thing about these skeletons was their good habit of bringing you free takeout. Like uber eats, if the driver stuck around and talked about how you smelled a lot. With seven other drivers asking why you were spending more time with this or that driver, like they all hadn’t taken it upon themselves to break into your house. Life wasn’t ideal right now, but the burger was good.

  
They’re both staring at you. Uhg, can’t you eat in peace? “Can I help you?”

  
Looks like they hadn’t realized they were staring. Sans flushed and they both looked away as they rubbed the back of their necks and laughed awkwardly. Again with the twin movements, it’s almost like they’re the same person or something. Ha.

  
“sorry kid, you just scared us is all.” Sans was trying to look sympathetic but it just didn’t work very well on him. His face didn’t lend itself to sincerity easily.

  
There was a loud knock on your door. No, please, not more skeletons.

  
Red went to go open the door and you barely caught Blue’s hello before the door slammed shut. There was a faint pop before Blue and Stretch landed on your couch.

  
“Hello Blue,” you shot him a tired greeting. “I thought we agreed on tomorrow. Remember the whole ‘I need days off’ talk we had?”

  
Blue tried so hard to respect your boundaries, but the problem was that he didn’t know what boundaries were and thought that it was his personal job to make sure you were okay every second of the night and day. You had blocked half of these losers a month ago because they would _not_ stop texting you. Blue had been the first.

  
He looked up at you with his best shamed-puppy-eyes. “I know, you need your own space to do human stuff. But! I was informed! That you were sick!! What kind of friend would I be if I ignored you in your time of need?!”

  
You glared at Red. There was no other way that they could have known. He had the decency to look sheepish. “Did you have to tell the whole troop that I was dying red? Did you? That’s not helpful.”

Now they were all likely to show up. Blue (bless him) was bad enough but when you got to the papyri proper (or god forbid, Blackberry) the yelling was going to kill you.

  
He rubbed the back of his neck. “sorry doll face, it’s jus that Sans asked after ya when we was workin, then Stretch heard and it all got outta hand.” Red really did look (kinda) sorry, and he’d gotten so much better lately, maybe you should cut him a break. “but don’t worry babe, i didn’t tell no one about the bleeding thing.” Never mind, you hated him the most.

  
“The what?!” And now Blue was hovering over you looking for bullet wounds. “What happened? Are you alright? How many fingers am I holding up?!”

  
You don’t know who taught Blue that the universal sign of Human Okayness is counting fingers (probably tv) but you weren’t in the mood for this. Using your hand to push Blue and his damn fingers out of your face you get up. To hell with this, you were going to bed.

  
“Blue, I’m fine. Red, you’re dead to me. Stretch, stop fucking smoking in my apartment.” He paused with the lighter halfway to his mouth. How many times did you have to tell him that cigarettes give you headaches before he’d get the message.

  
“you sure you don’t want to help me smoke it, honey? sounds like you’ve had a rough day.” He held out his sloppily rolled cig with some dumb smirk on his face. Why the hell would you want to-oh.

That wasn’t a cigarette.

  
Hm. It has been a while. You’d have to sit next to him to do it, but fuck if it helps with cramps, maybe. Maybe. Ah, fuck it, like you said, this wasn’t the time of month for good decisions.

  
Narrowing your eyes at him you go to open the living room window before turning back to the couch. You flopped down on the other side, but for some reason Stretch still feels the need to scoot over to you. Ugh, this better be worth it.

  
Two of the remaining three skeletons stare at you in shock. Sans just rolls his eyes, like his ass hasn’t hasn’t single handedly killed your stash before.

“Human! If you are sick you really shouldn’t be smoking! It is a disgusting habit that will only make things worse!” Blue walked over from the kitchen and hovered a few feet away.

  
Taking the joint from Stretch’s had you give Blue an unimpressed look. “Blue, remember that ‘don’t tell me what to do’ talk we had?” He sighs in exasperation. “Great, now that we’ve got that squared away, sit down or leave. I already have a mom, I don’t need another.”

  
Reluctantly he went to go sit down in your armchair, only to find it suddenly occupied. “listen, short stack, jus cause i’m a givin person who’s super interested in miss claws, over there, don mean i’m santa. so get yer ass outta my lap.” Red unceremoniously shoved Blue onto the ground.

  
Next to you Stretch stood up. “hey pal, watch yourself around my bro.”

  
Couldn’t they just leave? You snatch the lighter from where Stretch had been sitting and take a hit. Ow that burned. Don’t cough. Don’t cough. Fuck.

  
“hey kid, water you up to?” Sans thought he was so funny. Holding out a glass of water like some cheesy comedian. At least he stole Stretch’s spot, so you don’t have to deal with him once he’s done with his pissing contest.

  
You take the water, Sans would have held it there and made water puns until you did anyway. This wasn’t your first time dealing with this loser. He’s a good friend but that didn’t stop him from being the most annoying piece of shit you’d ever met.

You hold out the joint to him and he hesitates before taking it and the lighter. Aw yeah, the stoner bro’s were back, just like old times. Maybe the two of you could smoke it before the Fight was done.

  
You passed it back and forth as Red and Stretch had a knock down drag out right here in your living room. The worst part about monsters was how confrontational they were, nothing could just go unsaid. They just started a Fight right here in your living room. It’s a good thing none of the attacks left the Encounter, last time they broke your tv you had been Pissed. You tried not to think about the noise complaint letter you were most likely to get tomorrow. That was a problem for later you.

  
Oh man you were high. When did that happen? You set down your glass of water on the side table so you don’t forget it’s there and spill it. Sans was lookin pretty toked out himself. You weren’t sure when he had started combing his hand through your hair, but it felt pretty alright. It felt damn good.

He switched it up from combing to scratching your scalp and oh man you did not realize how nice that felt. That was the good stuff.

He got all tense when you leaned over and smushed your face into his shoulder, but then his hand started scratching again. You guys hadn’t been hanging out much since the beginning of this thing. For some reason he felt like he had to take care of everything all the time, and now everything included a bunch of obnoxious skeletons. Guess you two had that in common.

Yeah, it had been way too long since you guys had smoked. Everything felt just a little bit sunnier, the headache faded and your stomach figured out how to chill itself.

Cuddling with a bag of bones is about as comfortable as it sounds, but at least Sans was warm. Besides, everything’s comfier when you’re stoned out of your gourd.

  
When you heard the fighting stop you cracked an eyelid (when had you closed them ?). Stretch and Red were shaking hands and lighting up post-fight cigs, like you hadn’t just fucking told them. Oh well. The click of a camera shutter came from the armchair that Blue had slipped into when the Fight started. Why would he be taking pictures? The Fight was over??

  
When your eyes made their way over to Blue his phone was pointing your way. That bitch. You had not agreed to pictures looking blazed as shit, in your pjs, bloated as fuck. He’d better delete that.

  
When you opened your eyes again Stretch was standing in front of you. “comic, you mooch, you owe me a j.”

  
Sans made an impression of an indignant noise. “what about the half the kid smoked? gonna ask them to pay you back too?”

  
You poked him in the shoulder. He didn’t need to bring you into this. “no ‘cause i offered the kid some, you just helped yourself to the half that was supposed to be mine.”

  
Uhg, you didn’t want to deal with Stretch and his attitude today. Hadn’t you started off for bed? Why were they still here?

  
Before another Fight could break out in your living room you stood up. The slight wobble was not needed or appreciated but you managed to ward off Stretch’s help with a glare. “Alright, everybody out. I’m going to bed and you guys are not bumming around my apartment.”

  
“aw, cmon doll, don’t be like that.” The world spun as arms pulled you back into the couch and the red bastard sitting on it. “ya just got high, why waste it sleepin when ya could hang out with yer favorite skeleton.”

  
“Red you are double dead to me do you hear? I will never forgive you!” you pushed his face away from yours trying to gain enough leverage to flop out of his grasp, but he held fast. So you elbow him in the ribs, managing to catch him off guard.

  
You stumbled off him and took a few good steps back giggling at his stupid face.

  
“yer a mean little thing.” He chuckled, holding the part of his rib cage that you knocked the shit out of.

  
“Serves you right. You’re banned from this apartment for being a creep. If I see you in the next week I’m bringing out the pepper spray,” He looked amused, like that was going to stop him. “and calling your brother.” You smirked.

  
That got to him. “w-huh, doll, that’s cheatin’! don’t bring the boss into this.”

  
“Don’t tell me what to do Red. Now everybody out! Blue, if you still want to hang out tomorrow, that picture that you took and all the backups will be deleted.”

He had the decency to look a little ashamed. The skeletons all shot Blue a look.

“And we’re going to have another talk about boundaries, because there are some things that you’re clearly still not getting.” Red could probably use one too, but fuck if you were going to deal with him again tomorrow. You’d just sick Blue on him. The power of annoying younger siblings (sorta). “Now everybody get out of my apartment!” You were going to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sleep at last. i just want to double clarify here, reader doesn’t get along well with stretch because their personality isn’t suited for swap monsters, not having swapped themselves, but their souls are still like “hell yeah that’s some good shit” so there are reasons for things. but we’ll get more into that later. if you liked this, or if you didn’t, i’d sure appreciate some feedback :) next chapter should be up by friday


	3. Boy He Really Blue It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pizza and video games with the swap bros. what could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> technically it’s still friday ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> i made it lads. this one gets a little emo at the end, just so you know

Work suuuucked. Serving was bad enough when all you had to deal with was the patrons, but add on cramps, a headache, and a desperate need to eat everything in sight and your shift was just an absolute nightmare. Oh well, at least the tips weren’t bad today. And you got out before the dinner rush, so you didn’t have to deal with that bullshit.

Finally, you were home. Yay, time to change into comfy clothes and lay down to die. When you opened the door there were lights on and noise coming from the kitchen. Uh, you'd forgotten about Blue coming over. You’ve told him to stop breaking in but you’re pretty sure Stretch keeps convincing him you’re only joking. Man you couldn’t stand that guy.

“Human! You’re home!” Yeah, it’s Blue. He has wrapped himself around you. Don’t like that.

“Hey Blue, what’s up buddy?” You push him off as gently as you can, his grip really is crushing.

“I have made you some soup! In case you are still sick!” Oh no, your poor kitchen, it didn’t need this. And you couldn’t afford another fire.

“I told you yesterday Blue, I’m not sick, just dealing with the consequences of being human. What exactly have you been making?” Rounding the corner you find Stretch turning down the eye of a bubbling pot on your stove. Great, he’s here too.

  
“hey honey, how was work?” Just because you can’t see the cigarette doesn’t mean you can’t smell it.

“Hey ashtray, work sucked. Please leave.” It wasn’t that you just hated his guts, but Stretch just had the odds stacked against him. All the persistence of a Papyrus with all the creepy, threatening, flexible morals of a Sans. And he would not stop smoking for five fucking minutes.

He put a hand to his heart like you had actually hurt his feelings or something. “hey, that’s no way to talk to your pal. how’re we supposed to get to know each other better if you never even try?”

“We’re not, but that’s a sacrifice I’m prepared to make.” You turned back to your room to change out of your work clothes. Hanging clothes up sucked. You wanted to nap for a million years but then Blue would get sad and maybe break your door down. The sacrifices you made for these stupid skeletons.

The kitchen didn’t smell as burnt as you would have guessed. Maybe Blue actually followed the recipe this time ?

“Human! Are you ready to hang out?!” Blue turned to you with stars in his eyes, posing dramatically.

You couldn’t help but snicker a little bit, that was just way too over the top. Kind of like Sharpay Evans with less skin and blue instead of pink.

“Yeah sure dude. Just tell me you followed Tori’s recipe this time and there’s no glitter in that soup.”

You eyed the pot warily, after all the time you’ve spent with the skeletons you knew exactly what glitter and the “creativity” of an over enthusiastic skeleton could do to the human digestive systems. Not pretty.

He looked down and started wringing his hands. “What if I did both?! Combined Queen Toriel’s methods with my own to make the ultimate, sparktacular creation!!” He looked up at you sweetly, but you knew what was on the other side of those puppy dog eyes and you were not falling for it again.

“Then I would tell you that I’m sure the soup tastes great, but I am a human who cannot eat glitter so I’m gonna order pizza.” You took out your phone and pulled up a website, careful to avoid Blue’s betrayed stare. “You want anything?”

He sighed and dropped the look (thank god). “No thank you, human. I do not approve of such greasy garbage food! I will have some soup that I made with love using my own two hands.”

Guilt tripping little bastard. It’s a good thing that you’d built up an immunity.

“aren’t you gonna ask if i want any, honey?” Stretch’s voice came from beside your ear.

Goddamn you hated it when he did that. You took a deliberate step away and gave him an unimpressed look. “You’re right, how rude of me. I’m getting a medium restraining order, any particular charges you want on there?”  
Stretch just laughed. What a total bum, couldn’t even give you the satisfaction of threatening him.

 

Oh man, you ate way too much pizza. On the screen in front of you Luigi shot past Yoshi on the right. “God. Damnit.” You have the controller pushed all the way forward but Yoshi just couldn’t keep up.

Blue wasn’t doing much better than you were, Mario’s car didn’t corner as well as Yoshis but Stretch had just lapped the two of you like it was nothing. This was such bullshit, he was wiping the floor with you. You took the next turn hard, leaving enough room for Mario to pull up between Yoshi and the ledge before you crashed into him, pushing Mario off the road. “Ha ha!”

“Hey!” Blue complained. “That’s not fair, you pushed me!”

“Serves you right, don’t pick rainbow road if you don’t want to get cyber bullied.” You pulled past the finnish line long after Stretch, but safely not last. Your honor had been on the line and everything.

Blue was still being a sore loser. “I demand a rematch! I won’t be fooled so easily this time!”

You flopped back into the couch. “Nope, that was the last one. You two should go home, I have work tomorrow.”

Stretch was sprawled out all over your couch in a way that looked like it would be hard to see the tv, much less kick ass thoroughly. Lucky bastard and his stupid magic reflexes.

“yah know you don’t to work all these jobs, honey.”

You took a deep breath in and let it out. You were tired, you didn’t want this to end in a fight, but was he really gonna start this again? “Stretch, I have told you a million fucking times-“

“you don’t have to live with us! you could still keep this place, just let us help ya with the rent!” He sat up and put his hand on your shoulder.

You shrugged it off and stood up. “I’m not going to be your fucking sugar baby!” He just couldn’t let this go, could he? “Just because you all have some magical crush on me doesn’t mean I’m going to be your house bitch!!”

He stood up, looming over you, but you weren’t backing down. You didn’t need this shit tonight. He was always picking at this like you’d change your mind and drop all your life’s ambitions so that a bunch of annoying fucking skeletons can baby you!

Your body freezes, your knees buckle and you drop to the floor, limbs stuck in place. Your soul starts going nuts. Fucking blue magic. “Let me go you asshole!”

Stretch was giving you this angry-hurt expression. “honey, you’re not just some crush to us. that’s not what soulmates ar-“

“I don’t give a shit!” You struggle against the magic, your soul screaming at you to stop, to give in. Through sheer Determination, you get your feet under you. “I don’t care what the universe says, I get a say in what happens to me!” Now is not the time to freak out but not being able to move freely or think clearly is kind of setting you off in the worst possible way. You manage one step, two steps and then fall to your knees. Your soul is resonating, calling out to your soulmates and turning your head inside out. It gets like that around their magic. Stretch knows that, but he’s just not letting go. Why won’t he let go?!

Stretch is looks like he’s torn between yelling at you and crying. You don’t understand what this means to him. He doesn’t understand what this means to you.

“it’s not like we really got a choice either, honey.” The nickname comes out sour, his voice is quiet and dangerous, but you can’t hear it very well.

Your head is spinning and everything is starting to feel fuzzy and far away. The constant ache in your chest has started to turn into something sweeter.

“Papy, stop.” Blue pulls Stretch’s shoulder until he’s facing away from you, breaking his hold.

You were gasping for air, trying to calm your raw nerves. Your soul is screaming at the loss, the crash came so suddenly that it feels like you’ve been shot. Your hands were still shaking, your heart beating a million times a minute. Everything hurts and nothing is okay.

“Goodbye human, we’re going home now.” Blue was trying so hard to sound positive. Stretch was still facing away from you, which was probably for the best. This had gone poorly, you’re going to have to tell Sans to keep Stretch away for a while. He wasn’t controlling himself very well. That outburst wasn’t his first in the last few weeks, but he had gone way too far. That scared you.

With a small pop, they were both gone and you were alone in your apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m probably going to update on monday or tuesday so just keep your eyes peeled.  
> so that was kinda intense, huh? yeah, stretch is one of my faves to write because he has all of that papyrus but you’ve really got to account for the sans, yknow? like, how paps is one to make up his mind and not hell nor high water will change it? i like keeping those little things and just tweaking him into the judge.  
> on the down low it’s hurting his delicate feels that reader doesn’t want to go whole hog with the soulmates thing lmao.


	4. Break-In’ The Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you and hickory get to the bottom of some things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry crisis

It was raining, you were drinking some tea, just having a gorgeous little self care moment. You’d had a shift at the bar last night and a morning shift that turned into an afternoon shift at the restaurant, but now you were finally home. The sounds of the storm tapped away at your kitchen window as you finished wiping down the counters. You were done with clean up and ready for lazy time. 

You had earned it too, it took you a few hours to clear all the signs of Blues cooking out of your kitchen. He meant well, but until he learned to follow the recipe you weren’t going to subject yourself to anymore of his ‘culinary masterpieces’. 

Papyrus had been the same when you first met him, but he’d made so much progress in his cooking with the help of Toriel (and you, somewhat). Even Edge had improved since getting here, though how he had considered his previous endeavors edible was beyond you. Not Blue though, he was still more likely to use sugar where things asked for salt and pour glitter into everything because, “NTT says to cook with your heart! Where’s your passion?!” Yeah, you’d show him passion, a passion for not visiting the emergency room to get your stomach pumped. Again. 

Unfortunately, Blue wasn’t the worst cook you’d ever encountered. That was a title for Blue’s evil twin, Blackberry. Blackberry was probably your least favorite of all the skeletons. He was demanding, very used to being in charge, and he took everything so seriously. Black was always on his Papyrus’s case or yours about something or another. His Papyrus was a chill dude though, you would gladly take Hickory over Blackberry. 

Last night aside, you and Stretch bashed heads a lot, but at least he phrased things like options (where his idea was the best option and wouldn’t let it go if you chose another option, but still). Black was not afraid to tell you that you had no choice in the matter because he was the boss of you. Too bad for him, you were not afraid to tell him what you thought of that. 

Thankfully, Sans has helped enforced your ban of Black in the apartment after he had pulled some shit with your soul, knocked you to the ground, and tried to put a dog collar on you. You weren’t bitter. Nope. 

You hadn’t seen Blackberry for a few months, except at ‘movie night’, the night of the week you were invited (read: dragged) to one of the skeletons houses for food and movies. The food that was hit or a hard miss, the same robot doing the same moves in a different costume, and all the skeletons who were banned from your house making up for lost time. Not your favorite thing really, and you generally tried to keep your schedule as blocked off as possible to get out of it. Which is why you told Paps you had work tonight.

In your defense, you were supposed to, but when Andy asked if you wanted to trade shifts you’d taken him up on it. Now you were doing a weekday shift which wouldn’t make half the cash, but it meant you got to go to bed now instead of at one a.m. when your shift at the bar ends. That was all you really wanted right now. 

You flopped down on your couch, scrolling through your phone and thinking about what to eat. Maybe you’d just skip it and eat in the morning. 

A thump and then a rustling came from your bedroom. You froze, and another sound came, like heavy foot falls and drawers opening. You shot up, trying to stay light in your feet. Grabbing the baseball bat you kept by the front door, you crept down the hallway. This better not be one of those fucking skeletons, but if it wasn’t, well, that wouldn’t be ideal either. You’d never fought off an actual burglar before. 

Your door was slightly a jar, letting you catch a glimpse inside. It was dark in the room, but you could just make out a tall figure standing in front of your window. It looked like they were going through your dresser, maybe looking for a cash stash? 

Doesn’t matter, you had to come up with a plan here. Alright, if you switched on the lights they’d be blinded and confused for the adjustment period. That’ll throw him off his rhythm. 

You threw the switch and flew through the door, getting a running start before the figure winked out of existence. You tried to halt your momentum, tripped, and bashed your upper body into your dresser. The bat fell useless on the ground. 

“jeez darlin, that’s no way to greet a friend.”

If they were going to break in all the time they could at least give you the satisfaction of getting a good hit in. Then again, for some of them one hit was all they had. 

You peel yourself off the dresser, rubbing bruises already forming on your chest and jaw, which got the worst of the impact. You gave an unimpressed look over your shoulder and saw Hickory grinning and casually holding up a pair of your underwear for inspection. You whipped around and tried to grab them but Hickory held them out of your reach. Damn him for being so tall. 

“Hic, are you fucking kidding me?! Give those back!” You fumed up at him. Forget all that stuff about him being an okay dude, he was literally breaking into your apartment and stealing your underwear like some anime man. 

He was laughing. “sweetness i don’t see what the big deal is, they’re not even that cute.” He took a step back and disappeared only to wrap his arms around you from behind. “maybe if you took m’lord up on that shopping trip he’d buy ya somethin worth getting worked up about.”

Oh you were gonna kill him. “Absolutely not, let me go you bitchass!” You twisted and pulled against his hold but he had you from under your arms and you were going nowhere fast. Although, he was pretty tall, if he was holding you like this, he’d have to be crouching. 

Hmm. On that assumption, you donkey kicked back and upwards and made contact. The skeleton holding you yelped and fell over. Bingo. 

You turned to see him on his side gripping his pelvis. Serves him right. “Did you seriously break in just to steal my underwear?” Then a thought struck you. “Is this why I’m missing so many pairs?!” 

Hickory had started laughing again, the pain putting a little wheeze in it. “darlin you are just precious, you know that?” He groaned and turned over into a sitting position. He pulled out a monster candy and popped it in his mouth. Oh yeah, low hp. You were glad he didn’t dust from a kick to the dick, that would have been the most awkward funeral you’d ever seen. 

He threw the wrapper on your floor like an animal. Caught you looking too. “i’d offer you one, but that was my last. guess you’ll have to deal with good ol fashioned green magic.” He patted the spot next to him, smirking up at you. 

You gave him an unimpressed look. “Uh, no, I’ll just deal with it, thanks.” You didn’t want this shady bitch’s help. Besides, green magic was even worse about making head fuzzy. You didn’t really trust Hickory right now. 

He shrugged. “alright, but don’t come cryin to me when everyone flips their shut about it at dinner.” His eyes glittered, like the cat that caught the canary. 

Oh shit. You weren’t supposed to be home. No wonder this was when he was going for the panty raid. And now he’d caught you lying to Pap about working on movie night. He was looking at you all smug, like ‘it’s okay kid, you can tell everyone what just happened, but we both know that it’s gonna hurt you more than it hurts me.’ He knew that a disappointed Papyrus was the worst possible thing. Your heart couldn’t take it. 

Hickory patted the floor next to him again. “why don’t cha siddown, darlin’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would personally apologize for the trope, but it’s just so in character i couldn’t think of any other way to introduce hickory. sorry the skeletons are trickling in a few at a time, i can’t wait to show you guys my papyrus, but it would just feel forced to do it all at once. we’ll get to everybody eventually. who’s ready for family dinner?


	5. Gaining Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hickory thinks some deep thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y’all had a good holiday, who’s ready to not see those family members for another year haha. we’ve got a little pov here, and just in case you don’t catch it, when hickory talks about ut snas and paps he calls them ‘classic’ and ‘creampuff’, most of the others do that too. happy reading.

Hickory didn’t really believe in soulmates. Or rather, he knew that they existed theoretically, but what were the odds of him having one, yknow? If they ever even existed they were probably long dead, because everyone in the underground knew each other, and he hadn’t met them yet. Besides, talk about a weak spot, how were you supposed to survive with the health of your soul in such a fragile state that you needed a specific someone around to keep it from cracking? 

Yeah, Hickory had no use for the whole soulmate bullshit, until he got thrown across space time and landed his ass in some nerds basement. Until he’d met you. 

You were a human, the greatest enemy of his people, not that he subscribed to the propaganda crowd, you understand. But you weren’t anything like that humans he’d met in the underground. No fear, no desperation, you were almost sweet, if a bit (a fuckton) freaked out. 

It made his soul feel like it was on fire when he met you, you made him feel like no one but his bro could. He wanted to keep you safe. He wanted to see you flourish. You were so cute, zoned out, overwhelmed by the feelings of your soul at meeting 6 new soulmates. Not that he was super coherent either. 

It had been a rough start leading to a rocky new normal. Not just you, Hickory getting thrown out of his own timeline was a trip, not that he wanted to go back to ‘murder-world’. Everything here was so weak, so soft, it kinda freaked him out. It pissed off his brother to no end, but there was no one actively trying to kill them and honestly, Hickory liked that. He didn’t trust it at first, he still didn’t always trust it, but he’d never in his life relaxed and it got addictive fast. He got _so many naps._ And no one was trying to hurt his bro. It was like heaven. 

And then there was you. He hadn’t met you for the first month or so and Hickory was certain that classic had absolutely done that on purpose. You were only human, and there were eight of them. Poor kid didn’t stand a chance. 

Hickory’s bro was a possessive monster, he’d collared Hickory as soon as he was out of striped shirts. ~~Sans~~ m’lord wanted this human, and wasn’t used to playing fair to get the things he wanted.

After the first few incidents his brother had been banned from your apartment. Hickory couldn’t say that he was particularly broken up about it, having been forced to watch as you were beaten down to the ground and pinned into place as his bro demanded you yield to him and wear his collar, it hadn’t been pretty. He wasn’t proud of that.

You hadn’t warmed up to his bro at all since then, even after Black, Red, Edge, and Hickory had all gone through the basic crash course for how to behave in marshmallow world. These people had the weirdest hang ups. 

You had, however, started talking to him. When you first called him a ‘chill dude’ and his soul pounded so hard he felt like it was going to crack his sternum. That was _**so. cute.**_

He had worked very carefully to preserve the (“friendship”) alliance. Most of the others hadn’t noticed your weak spots like he had, no surprise, why would they need to analyze critically when no one was trying to kill each other? Red was, no doubt, reporting back to Edge as thoroughly as he was to Black, they understood each other like the others never could. But with some of them (Stretch) tap dancing on your nerves so often, it was almost too easy to pick you apart. All he had to do was text before he shows up, bring food, and not talk about souls. That was it. You didn’t open up par se, but you didn’t shut him the fuck out like some of the others. He considered himself close to you, and that gave him such visceral pleasure, knowing that he understood you better than most. 

Yeah, he couldn’t deny that having something like that with you and not having to share it with his bro was kinda nice, but his bro was super broken up about it, even if he tried to be subtle about it. Hickory could tell. 

So that’s why he was stealing your underwear, for the good cause of cheering his bro up. You didn’t seemed thrilled about it, but to be fair, he hadn’t thought you’d be home. Kicking him in the pelvis had been a bit extreme, but he should have expected it. You were a fighter. 

“Is this why I’m missing so many?” Oh that was fucking hilarious. No, he had not done this before, but the fact that some of the others probably had was too much. He couldn’t not laugh. 

“darlin you are just precious, y’know that?”

He sat up and popped a monster candy out of his inventory. That gave him an idea. Those sure were some pretty bruises forming on your jaw. Shame if you’d suddenly need them gone, with only Hickory around to heal them. After all, it was movie night and here you were, not working. Black would be happy you’d made it, and Hickory would get to use green magic on you, it was a win win situation. Maybe he’d finally get a look at that soul of yours. 

He caught your eyes. “i’d offer you one, but that was my last.” You couldn’t prove otherwise. “guess you’ll have to deal with good ol fashioned green magic.” He couldn’t stop the smirk, not when you were falling right into his trap. He patted the ground next to him invitingly, but you still needed to figure out the position you were in before you’d sit. 

You crossed your arms. “Uh, no, I’ll just deal with it, thanks.” Oh you were taking the defensive, all fight and Determination, fucking adorable. 

He shrugged, trying to play it cool. He had you in a corner and you didn’t even know it yet. “alright, but don’t come cryin to me when everyone flips their shit about it at dinner.”

Oh, the look on your face was priceless, and it was all his. You were doing the math, going through all seven stages of grief. When you finally got to acceptance, Hickory patted the floor next to him again. “why dontcha siddown, darlin’.”

You didn’t look happy about it but you had to understand that he was the best possible option right now. Even classic would go apeshit if he saw those bruises, and at this point there would be no getting out of movie night. You were too attached to Creampuff to ever willingly get caught in a lie. You sat. 

Hickory couldn’t help the laugh that bubbles up, your face is just pure dread. “it ain’t a firing squad, sweetness, jus a little healin’.” He knew what magic was supposed to do to unbound soulmates, he’d seen it before, but now he would be the one doing this to you. It made his spine tingle, all his thoughts were racing, but he played it cool. This was going to drive you crazy, and he was going to get to feel it this time. 

Your expression was sour. You were so cute, pouting like it was gonna change anything. “I don’t like it, it makes my head hurt.” 

Huh. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Fuzzy, yes, turned on, definitely, but pain? That wasn’t right. He didn’t want to hurt you. Maybe you were lying?

“what do ya mean it makes your head hurt?” He kept his face blank, but searched your expression for any funny business. 

You sighed, frustrated. “I don’t know, man, it just feels wrong and then I get a headache.” You rubbed your chest, but he didn’t think you noticed. 

You weren’t lying. That made things complicated. “well that’s not right. don’t suppose you’ll let me take a look under the hood?” He gestures to your chest. 

Predictably, you didn’t seem excited about that idea. You held a protective hand over your chest and glared at him. “Absolutely not, and fuck you for asking.”

He shrugged. “can’t blame a guy for tryin’,  
i jus want ta hell help ya out, darlin’.” He smirked as you started fuming. This was just too easy. 

“Help? Help?! Motherfucker, you’re the reason I bashed into the dresser in the first place! You and you’re ridiculous panty mission!” You look about ready to slap his skull off, which is precious. 

But you did have a point, and even though Sans would like seeing you, he wasn’t going to make you hurt for it. “tell ya what, how about we skip movie night and i cook somethin’ to fix ya up instead?” He’d still get to use magic on you, just indirectly. He could make this work. 

You looked a little taken aback. Clearly you’d been ready to grit your teeth and deal with it, not expecting him to accommodate for you. To be fair, he hadn’t been ready to budge earlier, but he wasn’t going to hurt you just for the sake of his boner. Not without informed consent, anyway. 

Hickory stood up and stretched out his arms. You were clearly still thinking about this turn of events. He decided to help you finish. “unless of course, you wanna go. i’m sure they’d all be happy to see ya.” He offered you a hand up. 

You sighed and pushed his hand away, standing up. “No, thanks, I’d really rather not.”

Hickory shrugs and shoves the forgotten pair of underwear in his inventory while you’re sulking. Thank Toriel for your short attention span. “well, let’s see what ya got for me to work with.” He heads for your kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao plot twist. i really didn’t intend to spend this much time on hickory’s intro, but i love writing him and it works well. next chapter is the last one to drag out this single night i swear.


	6. Chicken Strips for the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you learn some new things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey gang who’s ready for a little bit of pg13 pearl clutching over some chicken? i know i am. just a little warning, there is a profound lack of informed concent up in this chapter, nothing going far enough to earn that explicit rating yet, but be warned.  
> and happy new year

You didn’t really know what to do with this turn of events. Honestly, the thought of Hickory _not_  ratting you out didn’t even occur to you. Now he was being all nice, cooking for you just so you didn’t have to deal with the post-healing headache.

You were sitting on the counter, watching him batter up some chicken you’d had in the fridge. “I didn’t know you could cook, hic.”

Hickory looked up at you and smiled. “well maybe we need ta get ta know each other a little better.” He waggled his brow bones and stuck his tongue out a little.

“God, you sound like Red!” You shove him away and try to hold in your laughter in.

“thems is fighten words.” He snickers and pushes back, leaning his face towards yours with his tongue still out. You can’t help but bust out into laughter.

You push his face away with your hand. “Go away you gross man. Blocked and reported.” You’re both still chuckling.

Hickory turns back to the food and smiles to himself. What a nerd. “i’ve been sitting in on some ‘a Creampuff and Edgelord’s lessons with the queen. picked up a thing er two.” He laid the chicken into the pan and his hands started glowing green. You could feel the magic rolling off him in waves, making you feel a little woozy. He was looking at you with a brow bone raised, like he’s asking you a question.

What does he want? “Well it smells great. You’re clearly learning something.”

Hickory looked back to the pan and flipped the chicken over. It sizzled beautifully. Come to think of it, you were starving.

“now we add the glitter.” He smirked at you.

“Get out of my house.” How dare he even joke about that.

Hickory laughed. He started chopping up vegetables and adding them to the pan. It looked delicious.

While he plated everything up, you went to the living room and turned on a tv show. Hickory came over and sat on the couch next to you, handing you a plate. You took it and settled down, throwing your legs across his lap. He chuckled and set his plate on top of them, hugging them closer.

You go to take a bite, and feel his eyes on you. They all do that, but Hickory wasn’t usually this bad. He at least tried to hide it most of the time, but now he was just full on staring.

The food is incredible, the magic in it tingles and fizzles like pop rocks. “This is great, hic.” It makes your chest feel warm and your head spin, but not painfully like when it’s applied directly to your body.

When you’ve eaten home cooked magic food before it wasn’t this intense. The only one of the skeletons cooking you trust is Papyrus, and he never puts very much magic into things. Not even Tori’s butterscotch cinnamon pie was this packed with intent. Maybe Hickory learned how to pump something full of healing where he was from, where people needed that much.

It’s pretty nice, you feel almost high. Hickory is still staring at you but you don’t mind as much. He’s a chill dude, even if he can be a total asshole. You’re so glad you don’t have to go to movie night.

Hickory finally starts on his own food, drowning everything in barbecue sauce because he's disgusting.

This dizzying warm feeling flooded you whole body, you hardly even noticed when it started to pool in your crotch. It got a little harder to ignore as you ate on, your chest heating up with it. You hadn’t met to squirm, but a look at Hickory confirmed he was still watching and noticed that something was up. Oh fuck, could he tell that this was happening? You really hoped not.

You tried to ignore it, eating the last of your food to try and distract you. It only made everything worse. You set your empty plate to the side and tried to focus on the tv.

It’s hard when your brain is fuzzy and you’re so turned on. It’s persistent, not fading even after you’ve stopped eating.

Whatever, you’d deal with it for now. Hickory couldn’t stay much longer anyway, you both had work in the morning.

He sure was taking his sweet time though. Any minute now, Hic. He still had his arms wrapped around your legs, you wish you’d moved those before you were so distracted. Or better yet, not sprawled across him at all. You felt a little trapped, but not in a scary way. Not entirely.

“ya doin alright there darlin’? ya sure are squirmin’ around a lot.” Hickory’s eyes glittered, dragging all the way up your body to your face.

No no no this wasn’t happening, you didn’t need his over perceptive bullshit right now. You felt like you were going to die, everything was already so sensitive, cranked up to eleven. You were getting so wet.

“I’m fine, just tired.” You voice came out a little thick, but you managed to sound coherent and that was the goal. You weren’t sure how much longer you could keep that up.

“well if you’re not feelin’ up to company then i should probably get outta your hair.” Hickory started to get up, gently pushing your legs off.

Thank god, it felt like one wrong move and you’d fall apart right there. You were probably breathing harder than normal, it was just so hard to focus.

You stayed on the couch as Hickory took your plate to the kitchen. “jus let me clean up over here, you had everything spotless earlier.”

“No!” It came out a little choked, but at this point you were just super fucked up. That was still probably rude. You should explain yourself, but words were a little hard right now (heh, and so were you).

“no? whaddaya mean darlin’?” Hickory strolled back over to you on the couch. There was a smirk on his face. “do ya need something else?” His eyes felt like a physical weight.

“Yes,” you gasped out. “No! I don’t know. What’s happening? Why’s it so hard to think?” You weren't all that intelligible, but surely he’d catch on to what was going on. He has to know what’s up.

He was laughing at you, the bastard. “well, doll, when two monsters love each other Very Much-“ With tremendous concentration you grab a pillow and bop him in the ribs. He catches it and laughs at you.

“I don’t need the bird monsters and the bee monsters, I need to know what the fuck is happening!” You try to focus with all your determination. Your head was clearing out a little bit, not nearly as fast as you would have liked, but it was getting better. Thank god your mind had gone for the reboot but your clit boner was still raging hard.

Hickory looked at you kinda funny. “you ate food with my green magic in it, that’s what happened. does it usually not get to ya this bad?”

“This doesn’t this happen when I eat food from Paps or Tori! Did you do something?” It doesn’t make sense that it would be a food thing. You’d watched him make it and you seriously doubted he’d put something in it. The skeletons were assholes sometimes, but none of these guys would go that far. Would they?

Hickory’s brow bones furrowed. “no, i mean, not like- this is like when classic gives you food. does this not always happen?”

What the living fuck was he talking about. “Sans doesn’t cook! We eat take out, and it never- you know.” You gestured vaguely to yourself.

Hickory’s smirk had left for happier destinations a while ago, and replacing it was a look of horror. He bent down and grabbed your shoulders, and asked you, clearly concerned, “sweetness did you get the talk when classic and Creampuff found out you were soulmates or did they just give you the name? cause this is pretty basic stuff, eating a monsters food, being affected by their magic,” His eyes briefly slipped down and you pulled your legs up. Nope.

Whatever he was looking for in your face he wasn’t going to find it. You had no idea what he was talking about. “What talk?”

His eyes got wide and let go of you, backing up a couple steps for good measure. “oh shit. oh no. oh, sweetheart, you’ve got to believe me, i thought you knew what this meant.”

“What do you mean? You thought I knew that your cooking was going to- to- you know,” You didn’t want to say it, just in case there was a miscommunication and you were talking about different things.

Hic’s face was deep orange, his hands clutching his skull. “fuck, i fucking roofied you! oh my god, i just thought-and you were right there when i started pumping the magic in, it just seemed like- i thought you knew-“ He sounded like he was three seconds away from losing his shit.

You sat up a little and put your hands up in a ‘calm the fuck down’ motion. “Whoa, hey, chill your grill. There are going to be some growing pains between interspecies relations! It’s okay, the good news is that we know now, so it won’t happen again.”

Jesus, he was really taking this hard (heh). But he did seem to latch onto your words, looking at you suddenly very intense. “what do you know about soulmates? tell me everything.”

Oh, well, that was a doing some things to your higher brain functions. “Look, buddy, I’m not exactly firing all cylinders here. Can we do this another time?” You really were tired, and all that turned on hadn’t gone away, just settled onto the back burner.

Hickory looked so strung out, you felt a pang of sympathy for the guy. “yes, of course, take your time. i didn’t- i’m sorry. i should’ve asked outright, instead of just assuming you knew. sorry.”

“Thanks, I appreciate the apology. It’s okay, just don’t do that again.” He really did seem sorry, and he was freaking out, treating it like a big deal. You didn’t need him getting a complex about it, but a little more communication would be nice.

He shook his head enthusiastically, and for a moment you could see the Papyrus in him, all gusto and insecurity mixed with a stubbornness that couldn’t be beat. “no, never again, doll. i should- uh, i should go. sorry. i can come by and clean all this tomorrow, or, yknow, never again. just, text me. please.”

“I’ll text you later, you nerd, don’t make it weird.” You shot him a smile, trying to convey how okay you were. You’re not sure how convinced he was, but he looked reassured and nodded. Then he was gone, which was for the best. You needed to go take care of some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boi snas is going to hear about this


	7. This Takes The Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chillin with the classics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i know this is late but were none of you going to tell me that tiktok was bacically vine2 or was i supposed to find out myself? smh i’ve been busy.

“HUMAN! IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!” Papyrus pulled you into a rib crushing hug, your feet were hanging useless in the air. You threw an arm around him and hugged back.

“Hey skeletor, it’s good to see you too. How was movie night?” With one last squeeze and a quiet “NYEH HEH HEH” he sets you back on the ground and gives your back a good thump. He’d knocked you over a few dozen times with that move before, back when you’d first started hanging out. He said that he wasn’t used to “SUCH FRAGILE, TINY FRIENDS”. You weren’t fragile. But you still loved this nerd.

He herded you inside his and Sans’s apartment and you both headed for the kitchen. “IT WAS VERY PRODUCTIVE! BLACK AND EDGE GOT INTO TWO FIGHTS AND RED AND STRETCH FOUGHT AGAIN AND SANS SLEPT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING.” The kitchen was empty, no Sans in sight. You’ll have to catch him later. Some ingredients were laying on the counter next to Papyrus’s favorite cookbook. “WE ALL GOT TO COMMUNICATE OUR FEELINGS VERY CLEARLY!” He posed dramatically in the middle of the room, using blue magic to make his scarf flutter in a nonexistent breeze. Like a total dork.

You pulled a puzzle off the shelf and sat down at the bar. “Aw man, and here I thought Edge was finally chill with Black. You know Red and Stretch fought at my apartment this week too?”

“DID THEY BREAK ANYTHING THIS TIME?”

“Thankfully no, but that’s more Fights than normal for those two.” You both grimaced. The last thing you needed was another long drawn out feud between two of the ~~best~~  worst pranksters in the ‘family’. You’d have to keep an eye on that. “How was your Fight with Blue?”

Paps and Blue always fought on movie night, not over conflict, just as a weekly challenge. They claimed that knocking the shit out of each other was good for communication and strengthening friendships, and that it was a long standing monster tradition. Most of the skeletons had tried to drag you into Encounters before, but so far you haven’t let anyone manage. You didn’t stand a chance against these literal magic skeletons and you’d accepted that.

“IT WENT VERY WELL! HE TOLD ME HE MADE YOU SOUP WHILE YOU WERE SICK THIS WEEK.” Papyrus leaned down and looked you over with a critical eye. Sans was prone to ignoring illness to the point of collapse and it had made Papyrus skeptical of anybody using the word ‘fine’. “ARE YOU STILL SICK HUMAN? I CAN MAKE YOU SOME FOOD FOR IT ?”

You thought of last night and shuddered internally. You weren’t looking forward to talking over that particular mishap with Sans, though embarrassing as it was it had left you with too many questions to ignore. “Nah, it’s cool Pap, thanks though. I already told those guys that I wasn’t sick, I was just going through a human thing.”

You start digging out edge pieces and trying to fit them together. Papyrus doesn’t look entirely convinced, but he lets it go.

You know it frustrates him how much he doesn’t know about humans sometimes. Especially since “HUMANS ARE SO COMPLICATED AND DON’T EVEN HAVE MANUELS”. You knew the feeling, you didn’t really know what to do with most humans either.

“IF YOU’RE SURE. I’M ATTEMPTING TO MAKE COFFEE CAKE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME?”

“Pass.” You’ve got a corner going pretty strong on this puzzle and it would be a shame to waste it.

“ALRIGHT, LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.” He wasn’t buying the whole ‘not sick’ thing, but then you knew he wouldn’t. This was exactly why you didn’t want that spreading. This was fine. Everything was fine.

When the cake was in the oven and you were both chilling in the living room, crushing a second puzzle, Sans walked in.

“hey paps, hey kid. what’s up?” He walked over to the coffee table where you had relocated once the puzzle had gotten too big.

“HELLO BROTHER! THE HUMAN AND I ARE DOING A PUZZLE WHILE WE WAIT FOR MY BAKING CREATION TO FINNISH. HOW WAS WORK?” Papyrus eyed his brother critically.

Sans worked more jobs than anyone you’d ever met. You couldn’t even keep track of which ones he was at when. Every so often Papyrus would get on to him about it, and he’d quit a couple, then turn around and pick up another. You had no idea how he scheduled anything with all the different places he had to be. It was a good thing he knew all those shortcuts.

“work was okay, i’m on break. got room for one more?” He flopped down on the couch.

You went to the kitchen to refill your coffee and got him one while you were up. With all those bags under his eyes he looked like he needed to sleep for a week, but caffeine would have to substitute. He needed to be awake for the interrogation you were about to lay down.

You set the mug down on the coffee table in front of him. “have i ever told you how much i appreciate you?” He took the coffee in his hands and downed half of it in one go.

“You could stand to mention it more.”

Pap got up to go pull his cake out of the oven. Well, this was as good a time as any. Might as well start at the top of the list.

“Hey, we’ve got to talk about Stretch. He’s getting bad again.”

Sans let out a sigh the contained about half the frustration in the universe and set his cup down. You kinda felt bad piling this onto his plate even after everything. It made you just want to ghost, run away, not have to deal with this anymore. Too bad that wasn’t an option, not when the last time you’d tried to run from this problem things hadn’t gone well.

Sans took a look at you and ran a hand down his face. “yeah, okay kid, i’ll have a talk with him. how bad was it?”

You held your own mug close, focusing on the warmth. This wasn’t something you wanted to talk about, asking for help wasn’t your style. It was frustrating to need help. But you couldn’t have something like this happening again. “He brought up the whole ‘working too much’ fight again, with Blue in the room and everything. When I told him to shove it, he used blue magic on me, but not just to move me. He didn’t let up, kept it on me until I thought I might-“ You swallowed. You were too angry to be upset. Feelings? Never heard of them.

Sans was looking at you, his eyes fixed on your face. He had a slight blue blush on his face but he looked pretty mad. “I thought I was going to pass out. My brain went all fuzzy like it hasn’t since I met the rest of the gang. When Blue finally got him to let go, it hurt. Like, really hurt.” You caught yourself digging the heel of your palm into your chest and put your hand down. You really had to stop doing that.

“i’m going to have a chat with him.” Sans’s voice came out with a forced calm. Man, he was really pissed about it.

You backtracked a little, trying to contain the situation. “I don’t know if he meant to, it just freaked me out, is all. He’s been getting pissy lately, I might have pushed to far when we were fighting.” Sans didn’t need to make this a big deal, it was just something that you didn’t want to put up with.

“it doesn’t matter if he meant to, he did. Stretch knows better than to use magic on you, especially when you weren’t in an Encounter. even if he had a good reason to up and attack you, which he did not, we just don’t know enough about human soul mates to risk that kind of thing.” Sans still sounded mad, but more like his usual self.

‘Don’t know enough’ oh you’d show him not knowing enough. He clearly didn’t know enough to know better than to keep you in the dark about all this soul bullshit. Now might not be the best time to lose your cool, but come on. “Yeah, about that, the other night Hickory came over and I learned some new stuff about human soulmates.” Your voice came out terse, shooting him a side glance. Was it your imagination or was he avoiding your eyes?

Sans kept his voice even but you could feel his raw nerves from the other side of the couch. “the kind of stuff where i need to go have a talk with him?”

You felt your cheeks heat up. Did he think you needed all your battles fought for you? “No, I don’t think so. I was more hoping you’d have a talk with me. See, the other day when Hic was over I had a little accident and he gave me some food to heal the bruising but. Something. Happened.” By the time you ground out the last two words, Sans’s blush had spread and his whole face is glowing blue, beads of sweat forming on his brow.

“kid,” his voice came out horse, and oh, he fucking knew where this was going. Sans tried again. “kid, you didn’t eat anything he made himself, did you?”

This cryptic little bitchass knows there are six other clingy skeletons knocking down your door all hours of the night and day and didn’t think to warn you? “As a matter of fact, I did.” You voice shook with controlled rage. “Hickory said he thought you had told me about what would happen if I did that. Said he thought you’d given me ‘the talk’.” You barely caught Sans eyes before he looked away. “Is there anything else I need to know, Sans?”

Before he could speak, Papyrus came back into the room, carrying three plates of coffee cake.

“IT DIDN'T COME OUT EXACTLY LIKE THE PICTURE, BUT I AM CERTAIN THAT YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT THE CULINARY SKILL OF MASTER BAKER PAPYRUS!” He posed, causing the plates to wobble.

“looks great, Pap.” Sans took the plate offered to him and started shoveling cake into his mouth like it was going out of style. His face is still glowing blue and covered in sweat. He got lucky this time but this conversation was far from over. Sans was only getting away this time because the last thing you wanted to do was say something you were going to regret in front of Paps.

Papyrus squinted his eyes and looked at his brother, then turned to look at you. You could see the moment that he decided to ignore whatever was up. He handed you a plate.

You set down your mug and took a bite. The swirl of the cake was beautiful, the crumble on top cinnamon and sugar, crunchy and golden, only the slightest bit charred. “This tastes incredible, Pap, you’ve really got the swirl down.”

As he turned his back you shot Sans your best ‘this isn’t over’ look. He wouldn’t meet your eyes.

Papyrus preened at the compliment and gave a proud, “NYEH HE!” before settling down. This puzzle wasn’t going to finish itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i keep teasing but i swear communication will happen at some point


	8. Asides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sans talks to people. not you tho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man i’m sorry this took 5ever i got super busy.  
> psa i changed formate to where everyone’s name is capitalized, it was just bothering me, i tried something and it didn’t work. happy valentines, hope you all have a good comercial holiday, happy reading

Sans was, technically speaking, a total dumbass.

 

“you mean ta tell me that you didn’t explain anything?”

 

“Red keep your voice down.” Sans shoulders hunched as he waited for the thorough chewing out that was no doubt headed his way. The lunch crowd at Grillby's muffled their conversation but this was a sensitive topic to go shouting about.

 

Red seethed on the other side of the table. One of the side effect of all that LV he had stacked was a razor sharp temper. “what the fuck, classic.” He ground out. “we’ve all been trying to court their ass since we got here and you didn’t think something like this was gonna come up? are ya fuckin stupid?”

 

“i-“ Sans let out a frustrated huff and ran a hand down his face. “i _know_ i’m fuckin stupid, but it’s not that simple Red. how was i supposed to start that conversation? ‘hey kid, we’ve known you for a couple years now, but here’s all the stuff that i didn’t ever tell you about the whole soulmate thing right now because six other dudes are trying to bone down.’ that’d go down great.”

 

Red threw his hands up in complete exasperation. “why didn’t you just tell them in the fuckin first place?!”

 

“because they would have ran for the hills if i had! you know what the kid is like, they don’t like being told how things are going to be. they already made a break for it because i used the word ‘soulmate’, you think they would have stuck around if i had given them a list of symptoms, side effects, traditions, and _courting protocols?_ ”

 

“yeah, okay, that’s fine. but ya couldn’t find the time in two years? that shit doesn’t just affect you! they got a right ta know!” red ground out, pointing a fry at Sans accusingly.

 

Sans pinched the bridge of his nasal aperture and let out a long breath. “i know. i fucked up, that’s on me, but right now i need your help. how the fuck do i tell the kid without scaring the shit out of them?”

 

Red nailed Sans in the skull with the fry, when Sans looked up at him Red was fuming. “ya probably can’t, classic, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t! just because it’s gonna freak ‘em out don’t mean ya get ta just sweep it under the rug. now yer not even gonna have their trust goin inta the conversation because you’ve kept it from ‘em fer so long.”

 

Sans looked down at the table top. He knew that he had messed up, but how could he just up and dump that on you? The last time he got too close you’d tried to run away, and that hadn’t worked out for anybody. After that he’d been careful about giving you too much at once. He’d been surprised you didn’t try to ghost again when you found out about the other skeletons, but this was the real doozy because he _had_ left you in the dark for so long and this was going to freak. you. out.

 

Red leaned back from the table and Sans looked up at him. “forgettabout it,” he grumbled, “i’ll tell ‘em. i don’t trust ya ta do a good job of it after this shit show.”

 

Sans blinked. “uh, Red, with all due respect-“

 

“nope.” Red held up a hand to cut Sans off. “you chose to be a pussy and ignore the situation instead ‘a dealin wit it. now i’m choosin’ ta fix it.”

 

There was no possible way that this was going to go well, but Red looked prepared to dig his heels in. “Red, you don’t understand, this is a very delicate topic. if you make one wrong move they’re going to freak and run off again.”

 

Red had this look on his face, all righteous fury and determination twisted up, desperate and angry, like dust was going to fly if anyone got in his way.

 

“i’d like ta see ‘em try.”

 

 

_________________________________

  
  


Stretch was already having a shitty day when a knock came at his door. He peeled himself off the couch and looked through the peephole. Nobody there. Must be a package or something.

 

When Stretch opened the door and saw Sans he tried to close it. Sans shot a bone into the opening before stretch could shut it all the way. The tip was razor sharp and about an inch away from Stretch’s face. “heya pal, do you have time for a chat?”

 

Caught off guard, Stretch took a step back, giving Sans enough space to shove the door open and stroll inside, shutting it behind him. Stretch looked at Sans, realizing for the millionth time just how fucking creepy this bastard looked with his little bro’s face. “what the fuck classic?”

 

Sans had his hands in his pocket and his plastic grin on, but Stretch can feel his intent loud and clear: he was pissed.

 

“i might ask you the same question, bud. where did you get an idea like using blue magic on the kid, huh?” The jovial tone did nothing to cover the ugly rage that Stretch could see brewing behind it.

 

Stretch went a little orange in the face. That was private, why would you go telling Sans about it? “look _pal,_ just ‘cause you won’t make a move on them doesn’t mean the rest of us have to wait for you to grow a pair.”

 

So what if he initiated? You had been a tease since the moment they’d fucking met you. It was frustrating to no end how you strug them along and then blew them off, getting Blue’s hopes up and then refusing his food, insisting that they not enter your territory without you there, refusing ~~his~~ ~~~~_their_ help, shouting at him about how much you hated that you had soulmates in the first place _and then_ you had the fucking nerve to run from a Fight!? You were just being deliberately shitty, why shouldn’t he try to get you into an Encounter once and for all? It’s been almost a year and he still hasn’t even seen your soul yet, it was ridiculous! Most soulmates were _bonded_ within hours of meeting each other, and here he’s been sitting on his thumb for nearly a year.

 

He had admittedly taken it a bit too far, no doubt he’d left you high and less than dry, but after all the shit you kept pulling he didn’t feel all that sorry about it. Blue had already got on his ass about this, he didn’t need Sans’s bullshit too.

 

Quick as a flash Sans was in his face, his hand snatching the front of Stretch’s hoodie and yanking him down so they were face to face. Stretch wasn’t going anywhere without taking a very angry Sans with him.

 

“make a move?” Sans’ hands shook where they were holding onto stretch’s hoodie. “oh is that all you were doing, making a move? you practically squeezed the life outta their soul! they told me it was so painful they thought they were going to fucking _pass out_ before you would let them go. i don’t know how things work where you’re from,  but here flirting doesn’t typically involve fucking torture.”

 

Stretch pushed Sans back, but Sans had grounded himself, shifting gravity to compensate. “what are you talking about?” Stretch snarled, “i wouldn’t do that to them, i just held them! they fought it for a bit, but i was gentle.” That didn’t make any sense, he had been careful with you, of course he had been. More than likely you had just lied to Sans. Were you trying to get Stretch ban hammered from your apartment like Black? That would be the way to go about it, Sans was always Big Mad when it came to anything making you uncomfortable, much less in real pain.

 

Now Sans was looking at him funny. “look, buddy, whatever happened, happened. i’m just here to let you know that shit doesn’t fly. it’s best if you take a couple weeks off from the kid, capiche?” He let go of Stretch’s hoodie and took a step back and pushed his hands back into his pockets. Stretch blinked down at him. “you know better than to use blue magic on someone out of an Encounter without their permission. especially a human, and especially, _especially,_ that human.”

 

There was no way Sans was banning him over something like this. Stretch was a grown ass monster, he’d see his soulmate when he wanted. He didn’t need Sans getting in the way. “look, i don’t know what the human told you, but i didn’t have any intent to harm and was careful with them. i’m not a fucking animal. i don’t appreciate these accusations.”

 

Sans gave him an unimpressed look. “i don’t care what you appreciate, pal, i’m just letting you know that we’re going to have a problem if you go near the kid before they’re ready to see you again.”

 

Sans gave him one last ‘or else’ glare and winked out of existence.

 

“prick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh looks like red’s going to handle the delicate stuff, wonder how that’s going to turn out lmao.  
> stretch done diddly fucked up, if picking someone up with blue magic is like a hug, then holding someone for an extended period of time is like grabbing their ass and planting one on their lips so he’s in the dog house Big Time. not that the reader gets the cultural implications, they just super didn’t like it.  
> don’t know when i’ll be able to update again, but probably sometime in the next two week, i’ll try not to disappear forever without warning you guys. thanks for your patients. next chapters going to have some fluff w/ red.


	9. Sick of Your Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you’re sick
> 
>  
> 
> sick of these skells and their bs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a sick fic first and a plot story second and i will not apologize for fluff
> 
> hope you enjoy

The bar was a middle of the road kind of an establishment. Not quite the homey look of a pub but not really a club, just a place with wooden counter tops and mediocre food that still had a coin operated pay phone in the corner and a broken jukebox.

 

You worked here mainly on the weekends, every so often picking up a weekday shift. The uniforms weren’t exactly what Red would have picked out, but you looked good in anything.

 

This was usually the night of the week that you hung out with Red and the boss, but when Red had dropped into your apartment you were nowhere to be found. Things didn’t always work out with your two jobs keeping you busy and all, but you always shot him a text or something. So he went looking for you.

 

One of the men at the bar was sloppy drunk and clearly trying to speak to you. Red couldn’t hear what he was saying, but you sure didn’t look impressed. Red’s instincts screamed at him to walk over and knock the guy out of the state for even looking your way, but that kind of thing was frowned upon. More importantly, you wouldn’t appreciate it.

 

Instead he watched as you called security and had the guy removed. That was his sweetheart, not taking shit from no one.

 

Now that he has an unobstructed view, Red could see the dark circles under your eyes, notices how you bury a cough in your elbow. Come to think of it you look a little pale. What were you thinking  picking up this extra weekday shift when you were obviously dying?

 

Red kept his eyes peeled, noticing the trips to the side of the bar to blow your nose and sanitize your hands. The slight wobble in your step. The way your eyes had fogged over. He was going to have to do something about this.

 

He shot a quick text to the boss, letting him know what was up.

 

It was time for action, the bar was closing in ten minutes and Red was going to make sure you made it home safe. Maybe some tlc, if you were in the mood to tolerate some bullshit. The boss wasn’t likely to let this go

 

He strolled in, the door creaking and some of the patrons shooting him hostile looks, muttering “fucking demon”. He grinned back with his razor sharp teeth and manic eyes. No one bothered him.

 

Something was definitely wrong, you didn’t even notice him until he was sat right in front of you. Up close you looked worse, clearly sick.

 

When you zoned in enough to see him you went on the defensive. “Red, for the love of fuck, I’ve told you not to bother me at work.” You snapped back to reality just to bitch at him, you really did care.

 

The raggedness in your voice did not go unnoticed.

 

Red tsked like a disappointed school marm. “sweetheart, that’s no way to speak to a payin’ customer. ya gonna lose business throwin’ around words like that.”

 

You start to say something but instead cough roughly into your elbow. red winces, that sounds pretty bad. You manage a scratchy, “Go away.”

 

“now doll, ya know i can’t do that. why don’t i give ya a lift home?” Like hell is Red letting you take the bus like this, that’s a good way to get mugged, he doesn’t care how soft this place is.

  


_____________________________________  


 

As much as you want to protest, not having to spend an hour on a gross, creep-filled bus sounds so nice. Can’t let him have it easy though, then he’ll walk all over you. You really weren’t in the mood to be steamrolled by Red’s overprotective bullshit. Weren’t you still mad at him for something? Probably. Your throat hurts from all this coughing. This sucks.

 

Red waved a hand in front of your face. “are ya still with me, dollface?”

 

You pushed his hand away and crossed your arms, giving him your best unimpressed look. “Get off my dick, Red. I’ve got other customers, try not to burn down the building while I’m gone.”

 

You went to the other side of the bar. Most people were clearing out, as it was almost eleven and the place was closing, but a few patrons always stayed until last call.

 

You took up glasses and poured a couple of drinks before heading back to the kitchen. Setting the cups in the dish rack, you feel someone at your back.

 

When you turn John the manager is right behind you. He’s got his blood shot, beady eyes squinted at you and you can smell his disgusting breath even with your congested sinus system.

 

“That demon friend of yours is cloggin up my bar top again.” He folded his hands over of his chest.

 

“He’s not my friend and if you were listening you would know that I have already told him to leave. Why don’t you call security on him if you think it’s going to be an issue?” You really weren’t in the mood for this racist ass bullshit when you were at one hundred percent, much less in the midst of this funk.

 

Johns face got impossibly ruddy, and you imagined little cartoon steam clouds shooting out of his ears. “I don’t need your crap, you know damn well why. After what he did to the last couple guys I had a hell of a time refilling the position.”

 

Yeah fucking right, there were enough burly folks interested in getting paid just to stand around to refill that job a million times over. “That was actually a different skeleton, but again, I have already told him to leave. What do you expect me to do that the bouncers can’t?”

 

You desperately wanted to get away, but John had you cornered and the prep cooks were pointedly looking anywhere else. Thanks guys, good to know exactly how many people had your back here.

 

John was still steaming but you just kept your mouth shut. You shouldn’t have answered back in the first place, but you were just so out of it. Your head was pounding and had vertigo so bad that you hadn’t really been able to keep food down today. You were dead tired and just wanted to go home and sleep.

 

“Just keep your fucking demons out of my bar.” He spat out and shuffled back to his office, (hopefully) never to be seen again.

 

If you knew how to keep those guys out of anything the bar wouldn’t be your first priority.

 

Whatever.

 

You pushed through the door in time to see Red throwing finger guns at James, one of the bouncers. James was chuckling like a ripped, tatted up santa clause.

 

You shot Red a look and he smirked back jovially. “heya babydoll, yer just in time fer last call. then you ‘n me can get outta here.” He waggled his brow bones and you almost broke a grin but held back. You would _not_ encourage him. Nope.

 

“Can my last call be to the police about some short, loud mouthed bag of bones harassing me at my place of work?”

 

He put a hand to his sternum and wore a fake wounded expression. “sweetheart it’s not very polite to go spreadin’ lies like that.” He leaned back and sat up straight. “i ain’t short.”

 

“Whatever you say, Napoleon.”

  
  


______________________________________

  
  
  
  


The usual sickening nausea of a shortcut was bad enough, but it was all you could do to swallow down the bile that rose in your throat. You covered the bottom half of your sweaty face with a hand and took deep breaths. You were doing great. Everything was going fantastic. No need to vomit like a fifth grader on a rollercoaster. You had this under control.

 

When you managed to get yourself as together as you were going to get, you opened your eyes and looked up. You saw Edge stick his head out of the kitchen from where Red had dropped the two of you on their living room couch.

 

He gave you a hard look. “HUMAN, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU ARE ILL, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE AN EXTRA SHIFT AT THAT DISGUSTING BAR?”

 

Charming as ever. “None of your business.” Your voice came out in a rasp, much shakier than you had been going for. Not great for your case.

 

Edge let out a sound of muddled frustration and stomped back into the kitchen.

 

Red gave a sound of mild amusement beside you, slinging his arms around your back and pulling you into his lap like you weighed nothing. Your head spun and you let out a small “hey” as your head was planted on his shoulder.

 

Hands combed through your hair. “why don’t you take a minute, yeah? we’ve gotta talk some stuff over when you’re feelin’ a little more awake.” His voice rumbled in his chest like a purr, your head spun but in a much more far-off way. Your hands found themselves winding into the folds of his jacket, holding on.

 

You weren’t really paying much attention to his words. Maybe if you had you wouldn’t have slipped off, leaving whatever he was up to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha remember when i said talking was going to happen? well it’s been postponed because shits going down soon and i want to get Some kind of fluff in before  
> things happen
> 
>  
> 
> next chapter i promise

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey, how was the story? why not give me a comment about it? thanks a million man.


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